The 4 Pillars of Connection
The 4 Pillars of Connection
Connection is Absolutely Everything. We are born wired for connection, it makes up our DNA, and is as strong a need as food, water and warmth. It is one of our core human needs and ultimately is one of the biggest focus points of my work, for me satisfying that core need was ultimately the shift in being able to create the life I truly desired.
"I'm keeping a positive mindset but I feel like something is missing from my life"
"I have a beautiful family and home, pretty much have everything I could ask for but I'm still not happy"
"I have a great job, supportive husband and group of friends but I just feel so disconnected with reality"
The comments above are just some of the comments I hear often when talking to women about areas they are struggling in, and they are often accompanied by feelings of guilt for not being content with what they have despite seemingly having it all. These feelings then often trigger a spiral of negative thinking, causing us to slip into self-judgement or victimhood, or even get irritable and start taking it out on the people around us. Which then leads into the shame spiral for not having your shit together, for not being being able to shake that feeling of being off-balance, it's as though something is missing.
In my personal experience I have learnt that the feeling of being off but not being able to pinpoint the cause, often points back to one thing: lack of nourishing connection.
Healthy connections are like cords that are constantly nourishing and replenishing us, we cannot survive without them because we would have no way of refilling our energy. Connection keeps us balanced and rooted and provides a sturdy foundation for us to build on. Connection keeps us in our bodies, in the present, feeling safe and empowered. It is the container through which we can hear our intuition and our inner guidance.
In short: the kinds of connections that we want to be constantly cultivating keep us grounded in ourselves, tuned into our needs and our intuition, and energetically nourished.
I like to think of connection like a table with 4 main support legs or pillars:
Nature, Self, Spirit and Community
When one of the pillars is neglected, it’s like a leg of the table is disconnected and we become lopsided. And lopsided plays out in our lives as anxiety, overwhelm, self-doubt, fear & negativity, and getting stuck in the spiral of thoughts and emotions.
Here is a rundown of what each of those pillars represents:
Reconnect with Nature
Connectedness to nature is good for us and for planet Earth.
Nature connectedness is about being aware of the interrelation and dependence between ourselves and nature, appreciating all of the nuances of nature, and feeling a part of it.
Establishing a connection to nature tends to make people happier and more eco-friendly.
Reconnect with Self
When did we substitute busyness for living an authentic life.
Disconnection from self feels like we are stuck on autopilot with no energy to create a life we truly desire. Reconnecting to self is about slowing down and listening, learning and rewilding all that makes up you.
When we make the effort to learn, we inhabit ourselves more fully, we reconnect to ourselves.
Reconnect with Spirit
Longing for a deeper connection which is greater than self.
Losing connection to our spirit can leave us feeling uninspired, as though life is a constant struggle. Reconnecting to our spirit gives us our zest for life, our playfulness and enthusiasm.
It's the part of us which makes us whole, allowing us to be 'in the flow' of what's happening to us, taking away effort and struggle.
Reconnect with Community
Alone we can do so little, together we can do so much.
Making the effort to build connections, develop friendships and gaining a sense of participation and contribution aids physical, mental and psychological wellbeing.
We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibres connect us with our fellow men and women.
